You Fuckin' Stoner
by Vanilla-Envelope
Summary: A fic in which Axel smokes pot.  Rated for language and marijuana. Romance peeking around the corner?  So basically it's a get-baked-cuss-kiss party.  Oh god this summary is awful I can't be serious to save my life.  Cameos of Zemyx,Hayner/Olette. Akuroku
1. Do i LOOK Gay?

**A/N: Chapter 1 is UP! So I didn't make an outline for this, like at all. So I'm just as eager to find out what happens next as you are. And to anyone reading this, I really appreciate it. As always, rates and reviews are [obviously] encouraged, and I will be praying for motivation from my dear, dear readers. I love you ALL!  
AU, AkuRoku. M for language, drug use and possible sexual situations.  
Oh, and this isn't a slam against people who eat fast food, i eat it all the time. So the idea isn't to offend, some of these things just seem very Axel things to say. ALSO, there will most likely be some OOC shit in here.**

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"You're stoned,"the dirty blond accused from behind the counter.

"Am not," I scoffed, that's right, I scoffed, because that is what people of seemingly higher intelligence do, and I am one of those people. "You think I'd come to work stoned? Get more creative, dude!"

He glared at me, before clapping a hand to his forehead and down his face while he watched me trying to figure out how to tape the window shut while the folks in the car just beyond it waited impatiently for their heart-attack-in-a-bag.

"You're stoned," he said again. I looked at him for a minute, and I forgot what we were talking about, really. I tried to remember but the freezer door in the back kept opening and it was so distracting I just couldn't come up with anything.

"Wait, what?" I replied, like the intelligent person I am, still trying to tape the window shut while he waited for our shift to end, watching every tick of the clock intently like a little school kid.

"YOU'RE STONED!" Mohawk was starting to get upset, and he was using his whiny, bitchy tone with me and tapped his foot hard on that ugly purple & black tiled floor, catching the attention of everyone in the dining area, and creating a laughing fit amongst those in the back, who are of less importance than I, the window worker.

After I got the window taped shut I turned around and giggled at Demyx.

"Yeah," And soon the giggling turned into a mad fit of laughter. For about a minute and a half (according to him, I still say it was a fucking hour) I tried to get my breath steady, and I straightened my face and said something along to lines of

"I'm fucking fried, dude," and started laughing again because I worked at a fast food restaurant, even though we didn't sell fries, it was still pretty hilarious. When the guys in the kitchen finally got their shit together and handed me the bag of food that belonged to the people at the window, I gave the poor starving fat-asses their food, only to realize I had completely destroyed my window closing mechanism. And with that, Demyx's watch went off as he ran to the back, tearing off his ugly apron and running out with the bag of useless shit he brought to work every day.

"Yes!" I cried out in joy, while I finally came down from the insane high I was under the influence of, thanks to my quick thinking and the early-morning bowl I smoked. I tore the rubber band out of my hair, and that shit hurt, so my eyes watered and I whined a little, but as soon as I got over it, I ran around the kitchen of the joint multiple times, shaking out my long, unnaturally red hair and head banging, just 'cause I know how much Mansex hates it. Mansex, or "Xemnas," as we were to call him, was my manager, who had so much pride in himself as the manager of our friendly hometown Taco Bell. All the unlucky bastards stuck in the back all day nearly died in a fit of laughter, and I can honestly say although I've graduated, I am STILL the class clown. I got my bag of very useful shit that I brought to work every day and skipped to my car like a school girl.

I nearly broke my phone, flipping it open to see how many people loved me today.

I'm not kiddin' man, that shit's unpredictable, one day it's 2 people, while the next it's 32. You never know.

_28 New Txt Msgs_, read the screen on my dearest piece of plastic.

Two from Namine, one from Larxene, twenty-three from a stalker at school, a new one that Demyx had just sent me, and one from Riku. I deleted the 23 stalker texts, and read the rest in the order they came.

Namine said _You left your headphones in my locker _and _Why were you in my locker...?_ She spells all the words out, i have many things left to teach the child,

one of which being that you don't spell things out over text message.

Larxene said _I'll fuckin' kill u._ Her death threats quit scaring me a few months ago, they're empty now, she's really lost her luster.

Riku said _Wtf, u hid ur shit?_ Probably, hopefully, referring to my drugs. Hey, i had to take evasive action. I'm sick of him smokin' all my weed while i'm at work.

And Demyx said _You gay?_ Haha, he probably- Wait, he had to ASK?

He's **asking **me if i'm gay? That non-chalantly?

How does he... I mean... do i LOOK gay? Do i ac- Well, i do act gay but **do i LOOK gay?**

I called him, so that i could properly cuss him out.

"Hullo?" He was unsuspecting. Perfect.

"Hey, Dem, I forgot when that thing at wor- I'M FUCKING STRAIGHT, **OKAY?** S-t-r-a-i-t, straight! I mean, i'm straight as a fucking... a fucking, well, wait... Pencils are straight, but sometimes they have those bendy pencils, lines are curvy sometimes... Oh god," This was my pathetic attempt to think of something indefinitely straight, no matter what. "Well, a really straight thing, okay?** REALLY **straight.I like **titties, **okay? I'm fucking straight, god,"

There was a long silence but i could hear him breathing.

Then slowly, he started quietly giggling, then it turned into chuckling,

and within the next 5 minutes he was all-out hysterical.

"Dude, calm down, Ax, it was just a question, jeeze, i mean, When's the last time you had a girlfriend?" And with that, the laughter abruptly stopped.

"I don't fuckin' know man, i think it was that short chick... I totally forgot her name,"

"Dude, you dated her a year and a half ago. When's the last time you had sex?"

A year and a half, really? Wow. And now i'm not even sure- Heeeyy

"Why the FUCK do you wanna know this shit? You're askin' about the last time i fucked somebody? I thought you were the one who said 'What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom,"

"Yeah, but, but i mean... I bet your last time wasn't even in a bedroom. Just tell me dude, unless you got somethin' to hide o-"

"I don't have shit to hide man, and yeah, you're right i think, i'm pretty sure it was that one chick from school who won't leave me alone now," I had to think for a minute, i forgot where we met completely, i forgot her name for a minute, too.

"Oh yeah, Selphie, that's 'er name. At that party, remember, we were both drunk as hell? Now she thinks we're in love, that's the last time i sleep with someone who's fuckin' insane, man,"

"Dude, that was right after you and what's-er-face split. I want you to me-"

"**Dude, quit saying dude!** I'm not fucking gay, okay? Just 'cause i haven't gotten ass in forever doesn't mean i don't like girls, and i AM NOT meeting one of your friends, i know you're trying to set me up with someone again. The last time you did that i ended up making friends with 'im and now he smokes all my weed. No,"

"But, Axel, man, he's hot! He even kinda looks like a girl, i mean he doesn't have lady parts but he just, come on, man, this kid really wants to meet you and man it's not my fault, i warned you about Riku, dude i really did so don't even give me that, i said 'Axel, dude, Riku loves weed, look out-"

"Bull **shit,** you did not say that, you're full of it, and Demyx, man i'm not fucking gay, i said no!"

And with that it was silent. He huffed and puffed a little and hung up.

Now he's pouting.

And now i have to apologize.

And i'm gonna have to go on a date with this poor kid that Demyx has tricked into thinking i'm gay.

I sighed.

Breathe, Axel, Breathe. Keep it together.

You can just tell him, just say "Look, i know Demyx told you i'm gay, but i'm not. I'm sure you're great, but you just ain't my cup o' tea," then walk away. That's all you have to do.

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**A/N: **No, i don't wish to die a young death. I know it's short, the others will probably be longer, i need to get used to like 5k word chapters. Anyway, yeah, a story where Axel actually isn't gay. "DO I LOOK GAY?" I lol'd at that part myself... xD Anyway, it's not gonna turn out how you all are thinking. SO STOP THAT THINKIN' AND GO EAT SOME TWINKIES.

Yes, children, YES. Eat the fattening food, eaaaat, eaaaaat.

I'm sorry, i'm a very odd person. All this talk of eating makes me hungry. I really want Taco Bell, that's why i made Axel work at Taco Bell. Wouldn't it be awesome to walk into Taco Bell and see Demyx, Axel & Mansex? Yes, Mansex works at Taco Bell. I figured i'd get some good laughs out of this story... MUAHAHA.

Review, my pets, please review!~


	2. Pancake face!

**_A/N: First off; more apologies for delays. I'm going through quite a block at the moment. But i had lots of fun writing this chapter, regardless of how long it took, and the fact that i sat and laughed at my own story, makes me want to hang myself with barbed wire. Thank you to every single one of my reviewers, and for the favorites and story alerts. I appreciate you guys. You make my world go round._**

**_Funfax; Today, i discovered i love subtle Akuroku fluff [Romance/Humor] with quite the passion.  
I'm not going to keep posting disclaimers 'cause we all know i don't own any Enix characters or brands mentioned in this story. Only thing i own is the plot and the computer i typed it up on. _**

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_Emphasis/Music/Phone Conversation_ is this  
**Emphasis/Shouting/Loud noise **is this

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When i got home, i paced around my room for an hour or two.  
I called Demyx and apologized, and i was supposed to go out with this kid _Roxas_ later. Demyx's cousin. Dammit.  
Oh, how i dreaded it.

"Dude, calm **down**," said Riku. Who's he to tell **me** to calm down? Who does he think he is?

"Don't tell me what to do," i snapped back. It was at this point that i realized i was being just a little too harsh, it wasn't Riku's fault. I sighed and flopped down on my bed.  
"What should i do, man?"

Riku looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged.  
"I dunno... Date 'im?" I glared my best glare and threw my pillow at him with all my strength.  
He just froze in place and stood there like an idiot. After the pillow bounced off his face and landed on the floor, he replied again.  
"Date me..?" His voice cracked, and I was burning holes in him with my eyeballs.

"Be glad i only have one pillow. If i weren't too lazy to get up, i would beat you to death with that one," I snapped.  
"C'mon man, you have to go either way, we **both** know how Demyx is. Besiiiides, i heard he looks _kinda like a girl_, i mean, as long as you don't do anything freaky-deaky you can pretend-"

_Slap._

I swear to god i had flattened my own face with the palm of my hand. I would get up, look in the mirror, and i'd have a pancake for a face.  
"Did you. **Just say.** FREAKY. DEAKY. Ho-ly _fuck_, you did, Riku. You said **freaky-fucking-deaky**."

He stared with wide eyes for a short moment, then put his hands on his hips. He opened his mouth to say something, when-

_Pay no mind to the rebel, pay no mind to rebel, lay down, go to sleep to the rhythm of a wa-_

"Hullo?" I mumbled into the receiver of my phone. Yeah, receiver. I know smart people words, too.  
_"Hey, Axe. Roxy's gonna be at The Underground in 30 minutes. Get your ass ready, because you're going. And you better-,"  
_"Chill, Dem, i'm workin' on it now," I sighed loudly to express just the level of my frustration at him.  
_"Really? If you stand him up i swear to God, i will drown you in the ocean. Now go get ready,"_

_Click_

He hung up. He didn't even say goodbye. Why do people not say bye anymore? I say bye.  
Remembering what I was doing, i grabbed my keys, a jacket, and my cigarettes.  
"Alright, **i'm out, gotta go tell this kid i'm straight,**" I yelled over my shoulder while i walked out the door. Behind me i heard Riku shout something that sounded like _"I won't wait up," _But one can never be sure.

I almost went back in so i could smoke a bowl, but figured it'd probably go better if i wasn't blazed.

-x-x-x-x-x-

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x-x-x-x-x-x

I was dreading this. More than anything, ever. I was supposed to meet this guy for a date, and i'm not even gay. Stupid Demyx, setting me up with his stupid friends. He's my cousin for chrissakes! That's just weird. Besides, Demyx just graduated **high school**! I bet his friend's a graduate too! I'm still in 11th. So, this guy's like... A pedophile! Oh god, i'm on a date with a psychopathic serial killer. I don't even know who I'm looking for here! All i know is that as soon as i figure out, i'm gonna say _"Listen, i'm sure you're nice and all, but i'm not gay,"_ And then, i'm going to walk out, maybe run, and go home.

Hopefully he doesn't follow me.

_Ding ding _**[A/N: That's the most effort i'm willing to put into a bell's ring]**

I looked up from my drink to see who walked in. It was a skinny yellow-blonde chick, who looked sorta like a bitch. Mental note: Stay away from people like her. Either way, definitely not who i was waiting for. I went back to poking at the ice in my drink with my straw.

Then i felt the seat across from me being filled and jumped, looking up to see a redhead, and i mean **red**head, with tattoos on his face. My first thought? _Don't those mean you killed someone in prison?_ But i didn't say anything. He was smiling. And whether it was just the contrast with everything else about him or not, his teeth were really white. And straight.

"I think i'm supposed to meet you here, you're Roxas, right?" He had a nice drawl, he sounded southern, but you couldn't really hear it. I was just weird. Super-great-accent-guesser-guy, oh, you mean Roxas? Yeah!

x-x-x-x-x-x

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-x-x-x-x-x-

"I think i'm supposed to meet you here, you're Roxas, right?" Oh. Dread. God. I look like a pedophile here. I mean seriously. Kid looks 16, i'm 19, and i look older, dammit. Especially in this place. _The Underground_. Pssh, what a joke. It's just a dark restaurant with neon lights and rave music. Well. Take that back. It's a club downstairs. You wouldn't catch me dead down there, though, not after what happened last time.

"Yeah, i'm Roxas. And you're... _Demyx's friend_?" He was just itching to ask my about my tattoos. Probably under the impression that i'm a killer. Ha, ridiculous. I reached my hand out to little high-schooler, who fit the definition of 'blue-eyed blonde' perfectly.

"Axel," i smirked. Thinking for a moment, then taking my hand back across the table after the game of patty-cake that kid calls a handshake. "You're Dem's cousin, aren't you? Why don't you ever hang around with us?" He blushed. The kid blushed. And he kinda avoided eye contact.

"Well, i wish i wasn't related to him. He's embarrassing," Lies. There was something else going on here. Might as well not badger the kid though, 'cause after i tell him i'm straight, i'm outta here.

"Well, Axel. There's something you should probably know before this turns into a date," He blushed a little more. If i WERE gay, i'd jump right on that. But i'm not, so, we'll just leave him be and let him blush.

"And that would be?" I smiled, trying really hard to be polite, holding my head up with my fist while i poked around a straw wrapper.

"Well..." He hesitated. Come on kid, just say it so we can get this over with.

-x-x-x-x-x-

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x-x-x-x-x-x

"Well..." God this shouldn't be that hard! Why is this hard! Suck it up Roxas. Be a man. Be. A. Man!  
"I'mnotgay," i whispered, all in one breath. He probably didn't hear me. Just my luck, i'd have to say it again.

Then suddenly i felt like i'd crushed this guys hopes and dreams. He looked like he'd been slapped. His eyes were wide and the smile left his face. Oh, what have i done? Now he's going to take me into the woods and put me in a wood chipper.

"You aren't?" He whispered, too, an amused smirk crawling onto his face. Oh no. That was the murder face. The murder face, i'm dead. Then...

He sighed. Sounded relieved. Am i not up to par with his standards or something? Jerk.  
Then he started laughing and gave me the OMG You'll Never Guess look.

"Me either!" With that, **my** eyes went wide.  
I actually giggled, too. I never giggled!

"Oh, thank God," i exhaled, flopping back in my seat, adding "I- no offense, i mean," so he wouldn't take it the wrong way.  
By now, we were both kinda giggling. And blushing with giant grins. I grabbed my messenger bag and was getting ready to get up, when i looked at him and froze.

"Hey, since neither of us are gay now, how about we hang out?" I smiled, all friendly like. I like Axel, he's cool by me.

x-x-x-x-x-x

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-x-x-x-x-x-

"Hey, since neither of us are gay now, how about we hang out?" He asked, and he was all smiley and blushy and stuff. I about teased him for it when i realized i probably was, too. I thought for a moment of a place to go, and when i thought of a certain place i got excited. Too bad i didn't know the name of it.

"Yeah, we can go to that one place!" I yelled, catching the attention of waitresses and such, before dragging Blondie out by his wrist.

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**_A/N: Yeah i know, this one's short too. But i'm going through a ginormous block. I got what i wanted to get done in this chapter, and i realize now this will probably be a long story with lots of 1000 word chapters [give or take.] It can only get better from here, eh? :3_**

**_DON'T GET MAD AT ME YET. I SWEAR THERE'S AKUROKU AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW._**

**_And thanks to everyone who's added this to their story alerts and favorites, added me to their story alerts and favorites, and last but not least, a GIANT thank you to everyone who left a sweet review3_**

**_You guys really kept me going through this._**

**_Chapter 3 is on it's way!_**


	3. Not a pedophile yet

_**A/N: A few things that i meant to mention in the last chapter; When the blonde woman [Larxene] walked into The Underground, Axel came in right behind her, so yeah. Oh, and Riku lives with Axel. It was originally going to be Axel and Demyx who lived together, but the story just unfolds better with Riku. And also, there will be background SoRiku, but i'm not sure where it's gonna show up. Those will be the only two couples i focus on. Well, there might be a bit of SoKai, RikuRoku and Zemyx, but not much.**_

_**There will be more than 5 chapters to this story, and if you can stick with me all the way through, i love you. I may try to keep this going for over 17 chapters. Just depends.**_

_**Chapters are probably going to be posted closer together over the week because i'm taking the time away from deviantArt and SAI to do some writing and schoolwork. Again, thanks to all my supporters. PS: I'll tell you what place they went to later, becuse it ain't in this chapter. It should show up around chapter 6. Oh, AND there'll be quite a bit of change in POV throughout, so yeah. HOPE YOU LAV.**_

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_It took about a week for me and Roxas to become best friends. He's just one of those people, you know? After i got off work, i'd come home and there he'd be. Most always studying, because he wanted to get into a good college. Please God, give him the strength to keep me from corrupting him. I'd hate to spoil his mind like mine._

_I told Riku that if he hits on Roxas i'll rip his throat out, so i don't have to worry about that.  
Pure luck that Roxas needed a job when Taco Bell needed a new cashier, huh? So he came to work with me, and well, he wasn't too pleased to find he worked with Demyx too. At first, that is. Lately Dem's been spending a lot of time hanging out with us. I quit smoking as much, i only do pot when Roxas isn't around. He told me he doesn't like it and i like the kid without weed anyway._

_Weed tends to ruin people, changes them._

Suddenly, all at once i started to wonder how many people think that about me, and i realized i sounded like a fucking movie. I'm the guy who starts out only wanting ass, and Roxas is the young college student who turns around all my opinions. Then at the end, when he [she] leaves for work or something or other, i realize i love him [her].

Gag,  
stop it, mind.

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_October 3rd, 5:21 PM_

"**Happy birthday!**" everyone shouted. Besides me and Riku. We hate shouting. So we just said it enthusiastically. I was in charge of the video camera, and this was the first birthday **party** Roxas actually had since, god, like, 4th grade? Ah, the good old days. Back when he used to think i was the coolest guy ever. Now he doesn't like me 'cause i know he's gay. He'll learn soon enough.

Cousin Demyx is **always** right. Like now for example, instead of being close to Roxas, i'm standing across the room. Because just a foot away from dear Roxas, is Axel, and he looks rather interested in Little Roxy right now. I zoomed in.

Oh! I caught you! Eyes to ass, eyes to ass! You looked at Roxy's ass and now everyone's gonna know about it! One down. One to go.  
But how will i achieve this, convincing Roxas he's gay? It's set in stone already. After i call Axel on his checking Roxas out, i'll let the chips fall where they may. You can't run from attraction, children.

"Axel, will you cut the cake?" Roxas asked holding the knife out to him. Yes, Axel, do it, touch his hands! Right in front of everyone! This will be rich.  
Yeah, don't think i didn't see that blush. I saw it, he made you blush. You are actually blushing. What happened man? I thought you were a hardass. Guess not, huh, blushy?

"Wh-! Why don't you just cut it, Rox..as?" Axel started mumbling. He almost called him Roxy. Very nearly. Dammit.

"You almost called me Roxy!" He teased. Axel was still kinda pink-ish i guess. "Fine, you sissy, i'll do it. But nobody blame me if it turns out ugly!" Then Riku mentioned how cake can never be ugly. Axel just kinda merged into his surroundings until his embarrassment was gone.

**Happy 17th, Roxy.**

* * *

"Cake can never be ugly," Riku laughed. Then winked at Roxas. I threw him a death threat with my eyes, and he looked like he pissed himself. I guess Roxas noticed, because he giggled.

"Hey, Dem, come get a good view of the cake before i cut it into pieces and eat it," He said, and while Demyx came over, i laughed at Roxas' cannibalistic remark.

He got the knife in a good grip and was about to cut the cake, but stopped. It was red velvet, and if Demyx was right, it's his favorite. He kept the knife frozen on the edge of the cake for a second, and then I sighed heavy, but it came out sounding like a pissy teenage girl, 'cause i clicked my tongue without really thinking about it. He looked over at me, but i was behind him. I wrapped my arm around to cut the cake, with my hand on his, then we cut the cake. I'd be lying if i said i didn't blush. This just didn't help the whole 'We aren't gay' thing, you know?

Demyx made a noise that sounded like a cross between saying 'Aww!' and choking. Riku rolled his eyes. Namine, who used to be my best little buddy in school, was all smiling and such, Riku was rolling his eyes, and all the other random people Riku invited even though i told him not to were varying in reaction.

Demyx was recording it too.  
He would never drop this. Never, i tell you.

Years from now i'll be dead and that video will still loom over me.  
He'll probably make sure i have an AV hookup in my headstone so that can follow me even to my afterlife.

But i'm. Not. Gay.

_October 16th, 12:42 PM_

"Demyx, i wasn't checking him out, drop it. Now," i threatened him with my eyes. If i had laser vision, his head would have been melting. Too bad, huh?

"Oh, you were too. I have it on tape, too!" I could just punch him in the middle of his stupid forehead. I really considered it for a few seconds before playing the "Prove it!" card. Something i regret. I decided that next year, i would do the filming.  
Namine had so graciously returned my favorite sunglasses and my CD Player that i accidentally forgot in her locker when i graduated.  
Yeah, that's right, CDs, because i have yet to catch up with these young people and their 'iZumes' and 'PeaPods' and such.

Okay. I regret that thought. I know they're called Zunes and iPods. Don't judge me.

_3:37 PM_

"Hey, Axel?" Blondie asked, while i laid there on my couch half awake. He was flipping through the channels, didn't even take his eyes off the TV.  
"Mmh?" I forced my eyes open to maintain polite and appropriate eye contact.  
"When's **your** birthday?" I thought for a minute, in a much too sleepy state of mind to know.

"July twenty-second," i grinned. I love warm birthdays. Roxas took his eyes from the TV screen and looked at me with a funny expression.

"So you'll be 20 then?" It was awkwardly silent for a few seconds, with the exception of Spongebob Squarepants interrupting with his annoying laugh, and i noticed we were both frowning.  
"_Yeah..._" _I would. And he'd be getting ready to go to college. And i wouldn't. But i mean, what would a kid like me even do at college? I'm not smart, i don't even know what i wanna be when i grow up._  
_Besides, you have to have money for that shit, and while Roxas be fine and dandy with his rich daddy, i don't have a dime. _

Roxas scrunched up his nose at me, smiling real cute.  
"That means you can go to bars in two years," he sniggered.

"What kinda chicks do you like, Rox?" He frowned at his nickname, thought a little, then blushed.  
"I like redheads," he said while he scratched the back of his head. "I mean- my last 3 girlfriends were all redheads," he blushed harder.

And it made me realize that i dated a lot of blondes. I slept with brunettes, but i dated blondes. Then slept with them. And they were always like me... fucked up on _some _shit.  
"I think my type is any girl who's standards are low enough," i grimaced, then chuckled a little. But hey, it was true.

"So is your favorite color red?" he asked, eyeballing my hair. You'd think he already knew that, but our friendship wasn't developed, it was just there.

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**_A/N: /Shotagain. Sorry x.x So Roxy's 17, Axel's 19, Riku's flirting, hell will break loose, just you wait. NEXT CHAPTER BRINGS MORE CHARACTERS TO LIGHT.  
Axel's an emo kid on the inside. And smart, huh? Betcha didn't see that coming. Roxyyyyy... well... De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt. /shot._**

**_Anyway. I'm working on the updates. I'm sorry i don't write fast anymore, you guys. I'll get one more chapter of this up, then i'm going to HAVE to write a chapter for YWTMTV. And then part 3 for Since Then. Then another YWTMTV chapter. Then another chapter here._**

**_I hope you all liked it. Sorry this A/N is so lacking._**


	4. Does not support over 150 lbs

_**A/N: I deleted the prologue, because the chapter layout was getting confusing. After this chapter, i'll be working on a chapter for You Watch Too Much TV [YMTMTV for short.] I've been watching Code Geass lately. I love SuzaLulu. And i wish i could find somewhere to watch Naruto on the web, all the MegaVideo links i've come across were taken down because of "infringement." Tcch. Anyway, enjoy you guys :D I'm aware the last chapter was terrible, i'll be making up for it here. What's up with me and birthdays? And yeah, they actually have normal birthdays this time, instead of the cliche 'my birthdays august 13th' 'ORLY mien too omgz' thing i've been going with for a while now.**_

_**I ACHE TO DO BETTER FOR YOU GUYS. I love you.**_

_**This is set near the beginning of September. Big timeskip, i know. I'm sorry. I'll write a late Halloween fic though, to make up for the lack of one here.  
**_

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_Hey wanna come over? _

I read the text over and over again. Going to Roxas' house sounded nice but... I was high. Maybe that's why i was reading it over and over. I'd never been to Roxas' place. I got this mental image of a white 2-story with a blue front door and a wrap around porch. Don't ask me why, i was high, i had no idea.

Before i knew it, 10 minutes had passed and i was still reading the text and picturing his ever changing house.

_Hellooo? Anybody home?_

I texted back. I told him i was high. What did he say?

_Come anyway_

After i got directions, i was in my car and driving. I wasn't seriously high. Just a buzz, really. But it was still a high. So i refuse to take responsibility for what happened when i got there. It went downhill. Then up. Then it went down again. And it never came back up.

That day, we made out, broke a chair, embarrassed people, embarrassed each other, and made ice cream.  
And that isn't at **all **what it sounds like.

When i got there, i found his friends Sora, Hayner and Olette. And Demyx. And Demyx's boyfriend Zexion. No sign of Roxas though.

"I'm not his boyfriend," was the first thing i heard. And it came from Zexion. Mind reader? Lets hope not...  
Hayner and Olette were obviously flirting and Demyx was, as usual, scheming. What was he scheming about?

Getting me and Roxas together. Zexion was probably helping him.

Emo bastard. I knew he was shifty. He had shifty eyes.

**_[A/N: In this chapter, Axel smoked Happy Shaman. For those of you who don't know, the effect Shaman usually has on a person is paranoia. It's high doesn't last very long, and in most places if not all, it is a legal-to-use alternative to Marijuana. It's sold in certain stores, but you have to be 18 to purchase. At least, that's what the rules are HERE.]_**

The house was a 2-story brick with white shutters, by the way.  
They were all sitting on the porch.

"Uh, where's-" I started, but was cut off by the other little blonde dude, who was flirting with cute little Olette.  
"Inside," he pointed to the door with his thumb.  
"Why?" Then Zexion looked at me with a smirk and gestured toward Demyx.

"He got pissed because Demyx called him gay, again. He was talking about-"  
"Zexion, he doesn't care what Roxy was talking about!" Demyx said, really really fast, and covered Zexion's mouth.  
Sus-pic-i-ous.

I shrugged and walked inside, and while i closed the door i heard Demyx getting thoroughly chewed out by his boyfriend.

**"Go away, Demyx!"** Roxas yelled from upstairs. Great, now i didn't have to look for him.

Up the stairs i went, in search of the little blonde.  
It was like having an adventure!

I guessed where his bedroom was, but i guessed wrong so i guessed a couple more times. When the bathroom proved not to be the right choice, i went to the only room i hadn't checked and knocked. I then proceeded to open the door without waiting for a response, and before i actually realized he was armed with a pillow and ready to use it, the lovely sack of feathers was introduced to my face. Face, pillow; Pillow, face. Glad we've all met.

I grimaced at the black-cased pillow and pulled a southern accent out of my ass.  
"Well, that wasn't very nice," I glared up at wee Roxas.

"You're here!" He grinned. I almost made him apologize for pillowing my face, but instead just strolled on over to where he sat with his laptop.

* * *

"You know, they've been up there for a while... I wonder if they're...?" I quirked a dark eyebrow, not like they noticed, though. Olette and Hayner were in their own little world... But Demyx, he was vastly intrigued. And, a bit too excited.

His blue green eyes went wider than usual and he sputtered something about going to see before i grabbed him by the shirt. He looked at me like i was insane, and asked "What the hell was that for?"

I sighed heavily. "What if they're **about** to, well, you know, and you walk in there and they don't?" He brushed off my logic and retorted with something making much less sense, about how if they were about to he would know and... Ran off into the house.

* * *

In I crept, like a ninja on the hunt. I could just hear the jazzy spy music in my head. I went up the stairs, skipping the creaky ones to avoid being caught, and stopped in front of the light yellow door, pressing my ear to it quietly but roughly.

What i heard just may have scarred me for life.

* * *

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Roxas was rather yell-y today. I rolled my eyes at him and his obliviousness to what i was so **obviously **doing.

"Sitting on your lap. Duuuh," I grinned. "Now, where were we?" He looked thoughtful for a moment and clicked something on the computer screen.  
It was a picture of his older brother, drunk off his ass, doing some really embarrassing things. I reminded myself mentally to never let Roxas get blackmail on me. He started giggling quietly.

"Oh my god," I whispered. I looked for the words but my brain was still a bit scrambled, all i could muster was an exasperated "Wow."Then, all too suddenly i was ripped away from the screen by a set of fingers in my ribs.

"Roxas~!" I squealed, rather girlishly. I wasn't please with that. So i aimed for the belly of my opponent. He kept a straight face the whole time. **The whole. Time.**

"Not there," he said, with a cocky expression. So i aimed for his sides with a fiery determination.

"That's not it either," he grinned. It was then that i gave up. I sat sulking in his lap, wondering how odd it looked for **me** to be in **his** lap. I released a heavy sigh.

"Roxas," i started, but then heard a cracking noise and the chair collapsed. Roxas let out a slightly manly yell, while i went with a loud scream of my second favorite phrase, "Oh my God."

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry. I know this took forever, but it's up, and i'm in the writing spirit again. So i'll be working on the other things i've promised soon. C:  
You're all welcome to stab me to death. I know it's been far too long. I started on this a long time ago, and just finished it. So, tell me how it is. As always Reviews are welcomed, criticisms, alerts. I appreciate it, and i love you all :D 3 **


	5. It's raining chairs!

**_A/N: _Okay, so first there are some things that need to be said. The typical "sorry i took so long guise i really am writing again loool." And, the typical (as-of-late) thank you to the amazing Molly for pointing out all my fuckups and telling me she loves me. Bahaha. Thanks to you guys for reading, and sorry it's short.  
I AM working on Chapter 6 because i'm sick of the same old shit sitting in my 'fics' folder and I want to know what happens next just as much as you do.  
I actually quit writing this in the middle anywhere between a few and several months ago, and picked back up the other night. You can probably find the seam in there if you pay close attention.  
I actually wrote myself into a corner with this one so i'm having to basically rewrite it, so if at any point it seems inconsistent with the story, that's PROBABLY why.  
Anyway i'm done rambling now sorry for the huge ass note now GO!**

* * *

****I heard shuffling in the room just beyond the door, and realized I was supposed to be doing the opposite of spying on Axel and Roxas. Thanks to my quick thinking, I formulated a plan. I tiptoed quietly but quickly to the stairs, crept down them, then stomped back up in a hurried fashion. I ran back up to the yellow door and threw it open, knowing what I'd most likely find.

"What happened?" I yelled. I knew it, Axel was laying on top of Roxas, with messy hair and flushed faces on both. I knew it!

* * *

I shoved all of Axel's one-hundred-forty-two pounds off of me and stood up, popping my shoulders and clearing my throat. I just knew this would turn into another accusation. The only thing that had been good about my day was the lack of job I had to go to. I couldn't take everyone I know teasing me at my job all day long. You'd think there would be perks to being a cashier at Taco Bell.

Demyx was smiling with I-told-you-so eyebrows, and Axel was still laying on the floor chuckling through winces of pain. I don't see how **he** could possibly be so hurt, I was the one on bottom. I brushed past Demyx where he stood in the doorway and took myself downstairs.

_Great,_ I thought to myself and groaned. Everyone was in the living room, chatting and gossiping and looking at me like they knew what happened up there. I blushed. Damn it.

"What?" I scowled at all of the grins on their stupid faces, like I didn't know they were accusing me of doing **something** with Axel. Even Zexion. The only person I felt like I had on my side anymore (besides Axel.) Even **he** was looking at me like he expected something. I was honestly confused and a little embarrassed, with no idea what to do or say. I fought with words for a minute or two. I almost stabbed all of them and ran. I would grow a mustache and change my name to Roberto. I absently wondered why I wasn't growing any facial hair at my age.

"Come on Rox, just come out already. We won't judge you," Hayner started the intervention. I was melting him with my eyes. "Besides, even if you don't, I mean... we all heard," Sora grinned. Oh, if looks could kill. I rolled my eyes and stomped through the kitchen, to the back porch, away from the people who were supposed to be my friends. I flopped onto a cushioned wicker chair and sighed, closing my eyes, and wished they would just leave me alone about it. I may or may not have dozed off, but that remains undocumented due to my slight lack of consciousness.

When I came to, I realized Axel was sitting on the porch swing to my left smoking one of his famously well-rolled joints. I crinkled my nose, just 'cause.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

I stretched and groaned. Blinking away sleep really isn't that easy.  
"How long was I out?" I asked groggily. Axel took a long hit while I waited for him to answer, I watched how the paper burned while he inhaled.  
"About ten minutes. Long enough for everyone in there to shut up, anyway," he said.  
I groaned again at the reminder. I fought with myself and tried to stay awake. Then I decided Axel was a much more suitable pillow and abandoned my chair to join him on the swing, dragging myself and almost falling over twice treading the three feet of space from point A to B. I flopped down beside him and he put his arm in an awkward around-me-not-around-me sort of pose. His weed fumes were really getting to me but it was nothing too out of control, I just ignored it the best I could with the small amount of space away from it I got with my head on his shoulder. Damned pothead.

"What am I supposed to do, Ax?" I sighed, putting in a lot of effort to prevent slurring my words. Only about half of it came out right but he knew what I meant. He was putting a lot of work into blowing his smoke away from me.  
"Don't worry, Rox," was his reply. I was about to question how I could possibly _**not **_worry, but sleep won the battle **and** the war, and after a few incoherent profanities, I was out again.

When I woke up again, I was laying in the chair in the living room while everyone else was piled up watching TV.  
Except for Axel. I looked around but I didn't see him anywhere.  
"Your boyfriend went to buy an ice-cream maker. Congratulations, you're dating a genius," Zexion said in a smart-ass tone. I tried to form words but I just can't function when I wake up. After a few seconds of what Zexion said being irrelevant I said "Like you have room to talk," with a somewhat dopey grin.

"Touché" was his response. Then Demyx chimed in knowing he wasn't invited.  
"So you're dating?" Again with the smart-assery. I was well aware he thought he was being sly. I replied with a blunt "nope" and hoped that would be the end of it. And it was, until five minutes later.  
"Why won't you just admit it? I mean really, as amusing as it is, it's getting old."

I almost punched Demyx in his big attention-deficit mouth.  
"Why the fuck won't you just get off my damn back about it?" I asked, sitting forward in my chair hoping that Demyx would understand he just needed to stop before he really pissed me off.  
"Because I'm sick of you playing **pretend**, Roxas. How many years now have you pretended to be someone you're not? I mean at first it was just a joke, but I'm as serious as you are. One of these days you're going to push away the person you're supposed to _**spend forever with**_ because you're trying to convince yourself that you're **straight**. What are you so afraid of?" Everyone else sat silently in their seats while Demyx and I stared at each other like we could kill each other any moment. I stood and opened my mouth to speak when Zexion grabbed Demyx' arm and interjected.  
"Demyx, I think that's eno-"  
"No, apparently it isn't _enough_. I'm tired of fighting over this. Not **everyone** is going to hurt you, Roxas." My mouth snapped shut and my face went blank almost instantly. I couldn't believe he had even brought that up, much less that it had worked on me. It all went completely silent. Demyx grabbed Zexion's hand and sat back down beside him. Demyx was staring through me, Olette was staring away from me, Hayner was pretending he hadn't heard any of what was going on, Sora was looking directly at me all too knowingly, and Zexion could have been cross-eyed for all I knew.  
After about a minute of standing around feeling awkward, and equally hurt and overwhelmed, and extremely confused, I asked for the time.

"It's 6:30," said Hayner. After another minute or so, Demyx asked me to humor him.  
I looked down at the spotty carpet for a moment before climbing the stairs carefully. When I got to my room I opened a window and threw out all the pieces of broken chair in the floor. Anything that didn't fit was forced to fit.

* * *

A few minutes after my poor display of cousinly love, chair pieces started falling from the second floor and were landing in the yard.

Maybe I did go a little too far.

* * *

When I pulled up with my latest ridiculous purchase, Roxas was sitting on the roof outside his window, and the chair we broke was laying scattered in the yard like it had been hacked to death by a chair-killer. As soon as Roxas noticed my car, he nearly fell back into his room and disappeared.

Huh. Odd.  
_I should have just bought a carton of ice-cream._

I sighed for 10 seconds straight, then headed toward the house carrying my new ice-cream maker under one arm. It seemed like a good idea when I saw the commercial. As I reached for the doorknob, the door swung open with Roxas on the other side.

* * *

I was so nervous and scared, I had knots in my stomach and didn't even want to be doing this, but I figured if I did it and felt nothing Demyx would shut the hell up. That was the best case scenario, anyway.

I grabbed Axel's shirt collar and dragged him down to my face and forced myself to kiss him. It was the shortest, most awkward kiss I'd ever had with anyone. It lasted 2 short seconds. After I let go of him I stood there awkwardly with my hands buried in my front pockets, blushing, of course, because what kind of moment would it have been if I wasn't? Everyone was silent. Nobody moved. At all.  
I stomped back into my room and slammed the door behind me, wondering just what the hell I had done.


End file.
